


Black & White

by izzy_v1



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, M/M, Some fluff too, and possibly smut, heed my warning, major angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-23 17:49:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4886032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzy_v1/pseuds/izzy_v1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo was black and Jongin was white.<br/>Kyungsoo was wrong and Jongin was right.<br/>Kyungsoo was the moon and Jongin was the sun.<br/>Kyungsoo was nobody and Jongin was the one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so i'm gonna add a super long author's note at the end of this story because it really means a lot to me, but in the meanwhile, i hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> (also this fic will be available on aff)

“Have you ever thought of yourself as different?” 

The question hung in the air for much longer than it should have. Kyungsoo could feel the doctor’s eyes studying him, but he gave no tells as he stared remotely at the ground. He had been there for almost an hour already, and the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. Silence overcame him as the doctor exhaled sharply, tapping on his desk in a repeated motion. The incessant tapping was all Kyungsoo could focus on as it reverberated throughout the room. He felt his heart skip a beat every time the pen hit the desk, as if in slow motion. Eventually, the noise became so unbearable, Kyungsoo couldn’t take it anymore.

“Does it matter what I think?” He blurted out in annoyance.

The doctor leaned back in his chair with a smug expression, “Of course it matters, Mr. Do. You know yourself better than anyone else.”

Kyungsoo fought the urge to roll his eyes. Despite what the doctors told him, he knew it was always a lie. It didn’t matter whether he thought of himself as normal or not. What mattered was how others perceived him. Isn’t that how he ended up there in the first place? 

“I doubt it,” He replied spitefully, although immediately regretting it when the doctor began taking note of his reaction. Every move Kyungsoo made was being examined and calculated. He had to proceed carefully. 

“Well Mr. Do,” the doctor narrowed his eyes, “you’re not here without reason.”

“And what reason is that?” 

He picked up his clipboard, reading off of the page in front of him, “Let’s see here. You’ve been involved in 5 physical altercations just this month, you were caught drinking alcohol on school property, you haven’t attended school in almost two weeks, and a weapon was found in your possession. That’s just the first page, Mr. Do.”

Kyungsoo fidgeted in his seat, his eyes fixated on the laminate tiles. He didn’t come to be lectured; that was the last thing he needed.

“Obviously you’re suffering from some kind of-“ 

“I’m not suffering from anything,” Kyungsoo interrupted, struggling to hide the frustration that was building inside of him. 

“Denial is often the first step toward accepting your struggles. Hopefully with the right treatment, you-” 

The faint beeping of his watch stopped him from finishing his sentence. To Kyungsoo’s relief, their time was up. With a smug, entitled look and a promise of future appointments, the doctor showed Kyungsoo out, closing the door behind him. Stepping out into the hallway, Kyungsoo let out an exasperated sigh. The fact that he was being forced to see a psychiatrist was beyond him. Still, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to get himself out of it so easily. The last time he skipped a session, he was hospitalized for three days and he was damned if he was going to let that happen again.

With his session done, Kyungsoo headed to the only place he held sacred-the abandoned library. Well, it wasn’t exactly abandoned, but it might as well have been. The only living soul who entered that place was the eighty-year-old librarian who came from the retirement home every once in a while. When he made his way over to the library, he was not surprised to find the lights out and the front doors locked. Luckily, it was fairly easy to break in to, considering the amount of times that he had visited the place. With a click of the lock and the chime of a bell, Kyungsoo stepped inside, turning on the lights. The smell of dusty old books filled his lungs and with a small smile, Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel at peace. Perhaps it was for the best that no one ever came to the library. Heaven knows this peace would not last long if someone were to invade his sanctuary.

Kyungsoo may not have been much of a reader, but he couldn’t lie, it was an ideal place to get away from the daily hassle. Not to mention it gave him a place to sleep when he couldn’t at home. Half the time, Kyungsoo didn’t even realize he had slept until he was being chased out by the librarian or the security, though that didn’t happen as much anymore. The librarian seemed to cut him more slack than most adults did. Sometimes he would even find cards on his birthday stashed in between the couch cushions in the back room, where he spent most of his time. 

As fate would have it, Kyungsoo dozed off for a few hours before being rudely awakened by the sound of a loud thump coming from a few feet away. He pried his eyes open, yawning loudly before another loud thump was heard again. Kyungsoo stopped in his tracks, suddenly aware of the presence nearing him. He knew it couldn’t have been the librarian or her caretaker, which only raised his suspicion. 

“Who the hell are you?” A voice cried out from behind him, making his heart leap in his chest.

He turned frantically towards the voice to find a tall young male, about the same age as he was, standing before him. The boy stared wide-eyed at him, clearly just as surprised as Kyungsoo was to find someone else had broken into the library. They stared at each other, gaping, until the tall boy broke the silence. 

“I-um, I didn’t realize there was anyone else here. I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo stared openly at the boy, not seeming to care that he looked like a fish out of water. 

He was attractive, Kyungsoo would give him that. He was tall, tanned, and handsome as all hell, but given the circumstance, Kyungsoo didn’t spend much time as much time as he would have liked checking him out. 

After a brief pause, Kyungsoo seemed to find his voice again, “How the hell did you get in here?” 

The tanned boy flushed, looking at Kyungsoo sheepishly, “The back door was open.”

He wanted to laugh at how ridiculous this situation was, but instead of voicing his irritation, he simply nodded, unable to find the words to tell this boy off. If it were any other bothersome teenager from his school, he wouldn’t hesitate to drive them off, but something about this blushing boy standing before him made Kyungsoo feel slightly guilty for intruding his own private sanctuary. 

“You snuck in,” Kyungsoo paused, “because the door was unlocked?” 

The tall male blushed even harder at his words, “Well, not exactly. I-I needed something.”

“What did you need?” 

“A book,” Kyungsoo burst out laughing, unable to control the powerful shakes consuming his body.

Kyungsoo didn’t even really know why he was laughing, in fact his story made complete sense. Nevertheless, the boy’s logic did nothing but make Kyungsoo burst into a fit of laughter. Once his howling was silenced, Kyungsoo wiped away the stray tears prickling his eyes. A second fit threatened to commence once he saw the look of utter humiliation on the boy’s face. 

“So let me get this straight,” Kyungsoo said, taking a step forward, “you snuck into a closed library because you needed a book?”

“I-yes,” The boy stammered, “Why did you sneak in here?”

All traces of laughter vanished and Kyungsoo was back to his usual broody self within a split-second, “None of your business.”

Kyungsoo turned his back, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. His fun was gone and reality sunk in. Now he was left with no other choice than to find someplace else where he could relax.

“Wait!” The boy called out as Kyungsoo began to walk away, “Do I know you?”

“I doubt it,” Kyungsoo muttered under his breath. 

“No, I’m serious,” The tanned male reached out, gripping Kyungsoo’s forearm, making him freeze in his tracks.

Kyungsoo had only two rules that applied to everybody and were strictly enforced: do not touch him and do not ask questions. He broke both. With one swift movement, Kyungsoo had the boy pinned against the row of books, not caring that he was taller and probably stronger than him. 

“Drop it,” Kyungsoo warned, dropping his voice even lower than it already was. 

The taller boy was shocked at first, but made no move to retaliate or try to escape. At least Kyungsoo was not actually trying to hurt him. If he really wanted to, he would have already. 

He stared wide-eyed at Kyungsoo for a few moments before a light bulb seemed to go off. 

“Wait, you’re Kyungsoo, aren’t you?” The tone in his voice confirmed Kyungsoo’s suspicions. The boy knew exactly who he was. 

Kyungsoo shoved the boy back, though not as roughly as he intended. He scoffed at the boy, frustratingly running a hand through his newly-dyed red hair and raising an eyebrow, “So you have heard of me then.”

“Only stories,” the boy replied cautiously. Who could blame him?

“And what stories are those?” Kyungsoo asked innocently. The boy knew Kyungsoo was being coy, which was not unwise, considering he knew nothing about the tall male. One wrong word to the wrong person could end catastrophically and they both knew it. 

“I’m not interested in stories,” he shrugged, “I’ve never paid much attention.”

Kyungsoo didn’t know how to reply to that. Instead he just studied the boy standing before him carefully. 

“What do you want?” Kyungsoo surprised the both of them when he spoke up. The boy didn’t answer immediately, which seemed to agitate Kyungsoo even more, “If you know who I am, you must want something, so what is it?”

The boy grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck, “I-I don’t want anything. Honest. I just wanted to get a book.”

Kyungsoo blinked, suddenly realizing how ridiculous he was acting. The kid didn’t want anything from him; Kyungsoo was the one who antagonized him. All he wanted was to get a damn book. Kyungsoo leaned his back against the wall, feeling the shame sweep through him in waves. After a few moments, the boy began to understand the situation. 

He reached his hand out towards Kyungsoo, who hung his head in frustration, “My name’s Jongin. We have Chemistry together.”

Kyungsoo looked up to meet his eyes and was surprised to find a softness that only seemed welcoming instead of the disgust and outrage that he expected. Kyungsoo never knew how to take on those kinds of people-the kind that give you soft looks and say soft words only to open you up and break you down. Still, Kyungsoo was uncertain of what the boy’s true intentions were. But he was determined to find out. 

He took Jongin’s hand in his own, although the feeling was odd and unfamiliar, and gave it a firm shake. Jongin’s plush, pink lips curved into a crooked smile and Kyungsoo felt a heavy weight in his chest leaving him unable to speak. He didn’t know what to make of Jongin just yet, though he could already tell that he was dangerous. It was imperative that Kyungsoo watched him closely, though a part of him hoped that he would never have to see the handsome man again, for his own sake. Unfortunately, fate was seldom on his side, but Kyungsoo was sure to prepare for what Jongin had to throw at him.


	2. Chapter 2

It was late on a Saturday night when Kyungsoo found himself lingering outside a bar in downtown. It wasn’t his ideal location to be spotted in, but he found he had little choice when he received an anonymous text telling him to meet there. Normally, whenever Kyungsoo received such ambiguous orders, he tended to ignore them. This, however, was different. As he heard the familiar footsteps approaching him, he realized the true meaning as to why he was summoned.

"I didn't think you'd come," the smirking boy approached Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo turned towards the male, visibly confused, "You're the one who sent me the message?" 

"The one and only," Yifan leaned his back against the wall, running a hand through his messy blonde hair. 

It hardly surprised anyone that Kyungsoo had some questionable friends, though he uses the word 'friends' loosely. However, none of these acquaintances stuck around as much as Yifan did. Yifan had quite the reputation in their little community, though it wasn't quite as noteworthy as Kyungsoo's was. They had met in detention during Kyungsoo's second year of high school. He was a popular senior and thought himself invincible until a mysterious drug incident was uncovered. Once the rumors began to circulate, he was eventually kicked out. No one besides Yifan knew the exact details, though he refused to speak about it in the years to come. 

"What do you want?" Yifan sneered at Kyungsoo's catty tone, placing an unlit cigarette in his mouth while fumbling with the lighter.

"I've got a job for you.”

Kyungsoo didn't immediately reply, allowing Yifan time to take a long drag of his cigarette after stuffing the lighter in his back pocket. 

"I told you I was done with that." Kyungsoo grumbled almost inaudibly, "Look at all the good it's done me." 

Yifan snorted, "That's why you don't get caught, jackass."

Kyungsoo scoffed at his chastising remark, "You're one to talk."

Kyungsoo realized too late that he took it too far when Yifan's playful demeanor changed abruptly. He forgot how touchy Yifan was about the subject. Kyungsoo threw his hands up in the air as a sign of peace. That was as close to an apology as he was going to get. 

The tall blonde rolled his eyes, clearly agitated, "Do you want the damn job or not?"

Kyungsoo knew very well that continuing to do these jobs would only cause more trouble than what it was worth. Still, he couldn't help his curiosity. 

Kyungsoo shrugged, "What is it?"

"Ryeowook wants his money. You know the story," Yifan shifted his eyes to the ground.

Kyungsoo exhaled sharply; he did know the story. Ryeowook was a few years older than the pair, and he never let them get past that fact. Kyungsoo wasn't exactly close with him, but he had done jobs for him in the past, and he knew that he meant business when it came down to money. Even more so when people owed him, like Yifan did. Kyungsoo cursed Yifan internally for making a deal with him; he was trouble and Yifan knew it. Kyungsoo thought it was ridiculous that Yifan would even consider him for this job. He must have been truly desperate if he needed Kyungsoo’s help.

"Are you out of your mind? You know I’m not doing any more jobs for Ryeowook," Kyungsoo snapped. 

"I knew you would say that," The elder sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I need you to get him off my back, okay? I don't trust anyone else enough to do this." 

Kyungsoo felt the irritation boil inside of him. Yifan knew better than to put this on him. Still, he realized he was left with little choice when it came down to it. Whether he did this job or not didn't matter. What mattered was that if the job didn't get done, he would come after Kyungsoo as well. One of the downsides of working with Ryeowook was that he had ways of getting his information. Sooner or later, he would have found out that Yifan turned to Kyungsoo for help. 

“Come on,” Yifan took a step forward, cornering Kyungsoo, “do it for me.”

He brought his face closer to the Kyungsoo, blowing smoke in the younger boy’s face. This was a game Yifan played often-one that Kyungsoo liked to use to his advantage. This time, however, the intimacy was not appreciated. Kyungsoo shoved the older boy back a few steps before sighing heavily.

"What do I need to do?" Kyungsoo asked, defeat evident in his voice.

Yifan beamed, throwing his arm around Kyungsoo's shoulders, "That's what I like to hear."

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, shoving his arm back, "I'm not agreeing to this yet, asshole."

Yifan ignored him as he pulled Kyungsoo deeper into the alleyway, "I need you to give this to Ryeowook."

Kyungsoo looked down at the package in his hands. He didn't know what it was, and honestly, he didn't want to know. It certainly didn't feel heavy enough to be the money that Yifan owed him, but Kyungsoo figured it was in his best interest to not ask too many questions. 

"Where can I find him?" 

"I had Jongdae keep tabs on him. He should be here soon," Kyungsoo fought the urge to punch the living hell out of Yifan for setting him up, "I have to go before he sees me. Don't fuck it up, Soo."

Just like that, Yifan disappeared into the shadows once again, leaving Kyungsoo with the damned package in his hands and a death wish on his head. 

"God fucking dammit," Kyungsoo kicked the wall in anger, ignoring the sharp pain in his foot from the impact. 

Yifan owed him big. He told himself that he would stop doing these 'favors' after the last job ended badly. It seemed like all that time he spent distancing himself was all for naught as he paced back and forth on the pavement, waiting for the inevitable confrontation. Though, he found that the confrontation would come sooner rather than later when a familiar voice called out to him. 

"I can't say I was expecting to see you here, Kyungsoo” Kyungsoo could barely make out Ryeowook's shadowy figure in the dark alleyway. It wasn’t as difficult to make out the Ryeowook’s men standing beside him, however. 

"Believe me, I'm not here by choice," Kyungsoo replied completely monotone.

Ryeowook laughed loudly, throwing his head back, "There's that attitude I missed so much."

Kyungsoo didn't reply. It wasn't worth getting on his bad side.

Ryeowook studied him carefully with a sly smirk plastered on his face, "Yifan has you doing his dirty work for him now, I see."

“I’m not doing anyone’s dirty work anymore,” He retorted, fighting to keep his cool. 

Before he could reply, Kyungsoo threw the package his way, "Here, you got what you came for." 

Ryeowook caught it midair, eyeing it suspiciously before tearing open the packaging. Kyungsoo didn't expect him to open the package right then and there; as far as he was concerned, his job ended the moment the package was in his hands. Though, Kyungsoo was never given the chance to walk away when Ryeowook threw the package to the ground, looking more furious than Kyungsoo had ever seen him. 

Within a split second, Kyungsoo found himself being pinned against the wall, with an elbow digging into his throat, "You set us up!" 

"What are you-" 

Kyungsoo was interrupted by a fist connecting hard with his jaw. Still stunned, he didn't see the second punch coming or any others after that. Everything happened so quickly that all the strength he tried to gather was forced out of him by Ryeowook and his men. As Kyungsoo was forced to the ground, he heard a loud noise coming from the bar behind them. He couldn’t exactly make out what was happening, but the diversion gave him a chance to fight back, albeit briefly. Ryeowook’s men were too strong and overpowered him easily. Through his muffled grunts and moans of pain, he knew calling for help was useless. Before Ryeowook could land another punch, he could hear a roaring shout in the distance and a shuffling of feet. 

All of a sudden, the hands gripping at his body were off of him and Kyungsoo was left writhing on the floor in pain. He was so lost in the chaos that he could barely pay attention to what was happening, and could only focus on the sharp pains in his body. Seconds felt like minutes and before he knew it a bright light flashed on his face, causing him to pry open his eyes. 

A large man standing over him flashed the flashlight down his body before hauling him up, ignoring the cries of pain coming from Kyungsoo’s mouth. 

“You’re coming with me,” The man shoved him against the wall, twisting his arm behind his back. 

“What the hell-, “ The loud clink of the handcuffs closing around his wrists silenced Kyungsoo as the realization dawned on him.

A looming sense of dread filled his gut as Kyungsoo was tugged by the arm, towards the police car. Although he was the victim, and technically didn’t do anything wrong, it was obvious why he was being arrested. Kyungsoo was always the first suspect, no matter what the situation. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get out of this one. 

A crowd quickly began to form as bystanders flocked to the outside of the bar, much to Kyungsoo’s dismay. Several people gasped once they saw the gruesome state that Kyungsoo was in, and the sight was so laughable to him that he couldn’t hide the smirk on his bruised face. As the policeman shoved Kyungsoo into the back seat, he made eye contact with a bystander who seemed to stand out from the rest of the crowd. His sly expression fell immediately upon the realization. The familiar tanned, handsome male stared with a dumbfounded expression until the police car finally drove off. Kyungsoo couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away, leaving only one word to linger in Kyungsoo’s mind for the rest of the drive.

Jongin.


	3. Chapter 3

“Mr. Do, do you know why you’re here?”

Kyungsoo didn’t answer. Silence filled the room once again as the frustrated doctor leaned forward in his chair.

“Let me answer for you,” the doctor stated firmly,” You are here because we are trying to put an end to this misconduct. “

Still no reply, not that the doctor expected one. Sighing heavily, he removed his glasses to rub a hand over his face. It was obvious the doctor had not received much sleep due to being called in the middle of the night because of his patient. He was quickly losing patience, as was Kyungsoo. 

“Missing a session and being arrested isn’t helping your case,” he replied sharply.

Kyungsoo clenched his fists. Staring coldly at the ground, he ignored the doctor’s interrogation. 

“This unstable behavior is becoming a serious problem-“

“I am not unstable,” Kyungsoo hissed through gritted teeth.

The doctor replied calmly, “Normal young adults don’t act out to this extreme without some kind of psychological factor put in place.”

Normal. The word tasted like bile in his throat. 

“So what,” Kyungsoo barked, “Am I crazy? Am I stupid? What’s the diagnosis?” 

The doctor looked up at Kyungsoo, never breaking eye contact as he replied slowly, “You need help, Mr. Do, whether you like it or not. That’s why I’m here.”

The doctor wasn’t wrong, but Kyungsoo didn’t care. He was fine-there was nothing wrong with him and anyone who believed differently could fuck off. 

As the seconds passed, the silence filled the room until the only audible sound was the ticking clock that always drove Kyungsoo mad. Eventually, the anger seeped out of him as he realized with each second passing that there was no use. Nothing he said, nothing he did would change anyone’s opinion about him. 

“It’s not like I was put in jail,” Kyungsoo argued half-heartedly. It was obvious this was a battle he wasn’t going to win.

“No, but you were still taken into custody,” the doctor pointed out, motioning for Kyungsoo to take a seat.

Kyungsoo sighed dejectedly as he plopped down in the chair. It wasn’t his fault that he was set up, and it certainly wasn’t his fault that the police officer suspected him to be in possession of drugs when he knew next to nothing about the situation. It wasn’t until after spending the night in a cell that they finally decided to release him. They didn’t believe his story at first, but after confirming his innocence, they realized they wouldn’t be able to get anything more out of him. Nevertheless, they still treated him like he was guilty. His fault, they said, for hanging out with the wrong crowd. As if he had a choice.

“The drugs weren’t on me and they didn’t have enough evidence to prove that I was involved,” Kyungsoo murmured, leaning back into the chair.

“Were you involved?” 

The silence was deafening, but it answered the doctor’s question. 

“Kyungsoo,” The use of his first name surprised him, “we agreed to this partial hospitalization program so that you wouldn’t get yourself into trouble. You do realize what will need to happen if this keeps happening, don’t you?” 

The doctor looked at him expectantly until Kyungsoo finally nodded in response. He wasn’t an idiot; of course he knew what would happen. It was the main reason he hated going to the treatment center, and why he so desperately tried to avoid Ryeowook after everything turned to shit. Nothing was worth going back to that hospital, even the money he got from those jobs.

A sudden thought nagged at Kyungsoo, “You aren’t going to call them, are you?” 

The doctor eyed him curiously, eventually nodding his head, “They’ve already been informed, although their lack of a response was…alarming,”

That hardly surprised him. It’s not like they involved themselves in anything Kyungsoo did. Still, the fact that they were informed at all was enough to make Kyungsoo’s mood turn to shit once again. 

The beeping of the doctor’s watch a few moments later ended the session on a dubious note. 

As Kyungsoo got up to leave, the doctor called out,” You should keep in mind, Mr. Do, that you could have met a worse fate back there.” 

With that, the doctor exited the room, leaving Kyungsoo paused at the door. Now he was more confused than ever. 

 

 

One of the joys of having complete independence meant that you only had to worry about yourself and no one else. At least that’s what Yifan once told Kyungsoo in a drunken stupor. They snuck into the back lot of the high school in the middle of the night for no real reason. Yifan had just been kicked out; one would imagine that the high school was the last thing he wanted to see. 

“It’s true!” Yifan exclaimed, punching Kyungsoo on the shoulder, “High school is just the beginning, kid. I’ve got the whole world in the palm of my hands.”

Kyungsoo snickered at the tall, intoxicated boy, “You still live with your mom, idiot. How is that complete independence?” 

They made their way into the football field and sat themselves down on the bleachers. It wasn’t an easy task for the two drunken boys as Yifan proved by missing a step and crumbling underneath himself. Kyungsoo guffawed at the sight, doubling over in laughter. With a swift swipe of Yifan’s hand, Kyungsoo too crumbled to the ground as the pair clutched their stomachs from laughing pains. 

“What would you know? You’re just a goody two-shoes,” Yifan croaked, trying to catch his breath.

“Does a goody two-shoes get suspended for a week?” Kyungsoo snorted, flicking Yifan on the forehead. 

He winced and pouted like a child, making Kyungsoo dazedly wonder how on earth Yifan could possibly be older than him. 

“That’s child’s play. Wait until you get expelled.”

They stayed like that for awhile, laying side-by-side on the metal stands, laughing at each other’s stupid jokes. Hours felt like minutes, but they were too drunk to care. They knew they couldn’t stay there forever, but the possibility of getting caught made Kyungsoo’s stomach churn with excitement. He never wanted to leave. 

That was one of the best memories he ever had, though Kyungsoo would never admit it. He pretended to hate Yifan just as much as he respected him. He was the closest thing to a friend Kyungsoo had, and Yifan knew it, though he pretended not to. It was a mutual trust, they shared-a mutual understanding. ‘Friends’ insisted upon a mutual need, and neither of them needed anyone, especially not each other. Kyungsoo had to learn that the hard way. Soon, Yifan would too. 

Knowing Yifan for as long as Kyungsoo did had its advantages and its disadvantages. One advantage was that he was predictable. It wasn’t difficult to figure out his train of thought and where it lead to. With that said, he wasn’t exactly known for being discreet. Every move he made, every course of action he took screamed Yifan, and that was exactly why Kyungsoo found himself at the high school in the middle of the night. 

Kyungsoo hoped to surprise the elder, but Yifan was as paranoid as he was selfish. Stepping into the desolate parking lot, Kyungsoo could make out Yifan’s silhouette. He was definitely expected. 

“Kyungsoo,” Yifan raised his hands, “let me explain,”

Not a second passed before Kyungsoo connected his fist with Yifan’s jaw. The elder was slightly stunned, giving Kyungsoo the chance he needed to strike again. It didn’t matter that Yifan was taller and stronger; Kyungsoo took every chance he had to beat the shit out of him. 

However, his plan didn’t work out nearly as well as he thought it would when Yifan shoved him to the ground, pinning his arms above his head. Kyungsoo thrashed against him relentlessly, but Yifan overpowered him too easily.  
“Just let me explain,” Yifan pleaded to no avail. 

The thrashing stopped for a moment, if only to trick Yifan into loosening his grip. He was not expecting the hard knee to the groin as Kyungsoo flipped them over, taking control.

“Why should I?” The utter hatred in Kyungsoo’s voice surprised even himself. 

“I know you won’t believe me,” Yifan winced, “but I had to do it, Soo.”

“Bullshit,” Kyungsoo growled.

A few punches in, Kyungsoo realized Yifan wasn’t fighting back anymore. Instead, he just laid there, as if he didn’t care what happened to him. That information sat uneasily in the back of Kyungsoo’s mind. In all honesty, he was unsure of how to proceed at that moment. He thought doing this would make him feel better, but in reality, he couldn’t feel a damn thing. 

“How did you put it?” Kyungsoo’s chest heaved as he stared at Yifan’s swollen face, “The whole world in the palm of your hands?” 

Yifan blinked at him, with an unreadable expression on his face. It could have been read as guilt or shame, but in all honesty, Kyungsoo stopped caring. Without uttering a word, Kyungsoo stood up and walked away, never sparing a glance at the boy on the ground. It didn’t feel nearly as good as he thought it would to beat his best friend down. 

 

 

~~~~~  
this is only the beginning of the angst, please don't kill me


	4. Chapter 4

Kyungsoo wasn’t nearly as surprised as he thought he would be when he found out that he was to be escorted to school from that point on. He knew it was just to ensure that Kyungsoo actually went to school, but he couldn’t help but wonder if it was for his safety, or most likely, the safety of others.

The doctor must have noticed the dark bruises on Kyungsoo’s knuckles, though he never bothered to speak up. Perhaps he thought it was better to say nothing at all, like most do when associating themselves with Kyungsoo. He didn’t expect to get away with beating the shit out of Yifan, though he was surprised that Yifan himself didn’t rat him out. Maybe he was too embarrassed to show his wounded face in public. At least Kyungsoo hoped that was the case. He wasn’t sure how he’d take it if the real reason Yifan disappeared was because of guilt.

When Kyungsoo finally stepped foot on campus, he wasn’t surprised to see everyone’s heads turn. To say that the looks on their faces were priceless when he walked out of the police car would be a major understatement. Every student stared wide-eyed as he entered the school building; even some of the teachers couldn’t help but stop and stare. As if on cue, silence swept through the hallway and the only audible noise was the clacking of Kyungsoo’s boots on the laminate floor. With each step he took, ten more people turned to stare at him in shock.

Kyungsoo was by no means an attention seeker, but with his reputation, he was almost always the center of attention. Their stares burned into the back of his skull, and the dead silence was so deafening that Kyungsoo fought the urge to burst out laughing, just to ease the tension. In all honestly, the precaution these people carried themselves with was ridiculous. He wasn’t a terrorist or a mass murderer, but it was obvious from the looks he received that they thought of him as no less. It wasn’t until after the bell rang that the crowds of people backed off, but their cold stares never left.

It was astounding how relentless they were when it came to spreading rumors. At every corner, Kyungsoo could hear the hushed whispers circulating. It wasn’t until he stepped foot in the Chemistry lab to find nothing but aching silence and wary side-eyes that he had had enough. 

As he took his seat in the back of the room, he desperately hoped that no one would turn around to face him. By the looks of how stiff the students around him were, those chances were low. Hopefully, he would have at least an hour of equanimity; an hour was better than nothing.

However, it seemed as if he had spoken too soon. Just as Kyungsoo began to relax, he felt a presence plop into the seat next to him. Kyungsoo hadn’t bothered to see who it was, but he couldn’t help feeling slightly irritated that someone decided to sit directly next to him when there were several other seats still available.

It wasn’t until after student had sat down that he turned towards him, “Is this seat taken?”

Kyungsoo snickered under his breath, cocking his head at the intruder, “Well, actually-“

He cut himself off when his eyes were met by tanned skin and twinkling eyes that were far too familiar for this to be an accident. Within just a nanosecond, all train of thought vanished into thin air.

Kyungsoo must have looked like a fish out of water by the cheeky grin on Jongin’s face. He didn’t bother to answer Jongin’s question, because he knew Jongin was going to sit there whether he liked it or not. Not that Kyungsoo necessarily cared-he could sit wherever the hell he wanted, as long as he kept his distance. At least that’s what Kyungsoo tried to convince himself.

“I can’t say I was expecting to see you here,” Jongin chuckled, the sound finally bringing Kyungsoo back from his thoughts.

The quiet laughter coming from the tall boy next to him spread a warming sensation to his face that was as unfamiliar as it was unwelcome. He hadn’t even realized that he was staring at the boy like a complete fool. Suddenly snapping his head to the front of the room, Kyungsoo stared intently at whatever was written on the board. Then suddenly, his cheeks were flaming, as if someone set his blood on fire. Kyungsoo turned his head to look at the boy next to him to find him smiling like an idiot, making the pooling heat in his face rise in temperature.

“What are you looking at?” Kyungsoo snapped.

“I’ve never seen you blush before,” the smiling boy replied.

Blushing? Do Kyungsoo blushing? He must have been insane. Kyungsoo did not blush. He brought his hand to his face and indeed, his face was burning up. Jongin grinned even wider, if possible. This could not be happening.

“I-,” Kyungsoo stammered, “shut up.”

Jongin laughed loudly, earning a glare from the students around him, but said no more on the subject, to Kyungsoo’s relief.

“So why are you really here?” Jongin asked a few moments later.

I go here, don’t I?, Kyungsoo thought about replying, but from the tone of Jongin’s voice, Kyungsoo could tell he was genuinely curious.

Kyungsoo shrugged, “Just felt like coming today, that’s all.”

“Right,” Jongin looked unconvinced.

Kyungsoo huffed in annoyance; he was not going to allow Jongin to sit next to him just so he could be questioned about his motives.

“Mind your own business.”

Jongin was hardly surprised by that answer, but before he could respond, he was silenced by the teacher.

“Since you two in the back have so much to discuss, why don’t you tell us what you’ve prepared for your lab experiment?” Mr. Kim cleared his throat loudly, causing the heat to flood Kyungsoo’s cheeks once more.

“I-we haven’t prepared anything, sir,” Jongin faltered, obviously embarrassed by the sudden attention.

Kyungsoo wanted to roll his eyes, but the look on Mr. Kim’s face was scary, even for him. Now was probably not the best time to give him shit. 

“Then I suggest you stop wasting time,” Mr. Kim sternly remarked, “I expect a full report on my desk this Friday from both of you.”

Kyungsoo groaned. He knew there was a reason he hated Chemistry.

 

Sometimes, Kyungsoo wondered if he was narcoleptic. Perhaps it was due to the lack of sleep during the night, but he always found himself dozing off in the library, no matter what the circumstance. So when he was awakened by a beautiful tanned boy, he was more surprised by his presence rather than the fact that he fell asleep. 

At first he thought he was imagining the lingering figure standing over him- a mere illusion, compared to the real thing. But as he felt the presence coming closer and closer, he realized that he wasn’t dreaming at all.

Kyungsoo shot his eyes open and sat up abruptly, startling Jongin and making him flail backwards.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Jongin stammered as the tips of his ears turned a crimson red.

“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo was on alert and already feeling pissed off, which usually meant bad news for anyone around him.

“Well, I-,” Jongin hesitated, “this is a public library, you know.”

Kyungsoo paused, not sure how to respond. Why was it that wherever he went, Jongin was always somewhere close behind? An idea popped in his head.

“Are you following me or something?”

Jongin’s eye widened,”What? No, I-I just came for a book.”

Kyungsoo sneered, “Yeah, where have I heard one that before?”

Jongin looked so utterly mortified that it was almost laughable. Kyungsoo would have laughed in his face had it been any other day, but he was far too exhausted to waste the energy.

Kyungsoo sighed, rubbing his eyes, “So what do you want?”

“I-nothing,” Jongin spoke quickly, obviously on edge, “I just saw you, I didn’t know you were sleeping, I swear.”

Kyungsoo didn’t feel like replying back. Instead, he rested his elbows on his knees and covered his face with his hands, hoping that would wake him up. He had no reason to feel as exhausted as he was, but in all honesty, after all the bullshit he had to deal with those past few days, it was no surprise as to why Kyungsoo was so tired.

“Hey, are you alright?”

The genuine worry in his voice made Kyungsoo look up at Jongin to find him standing much closer than he originally thought. He was so close now-close enough to touch, if he really wanted to. Instead of replying, he stared at the boy standing in front of him. He was taller than Kyungsoo by at least six inches. His body wasn’t bad either, not that Kyungsoo would ever admit it, but he could hardly concentrate on anything other than his face, which was already so close to his. His eyes, his nose, his lips, his skin, his hair-Kyungsoo couldn’t help but stare in awe. If Kyungsoo were being completely honest with himself, he would admit that Jongin was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid his eyes upon. But Kyungsoo was not an honest person.

“What do you want from me?”

The words escaped his lips before Kyungsoo could stop them. He suddenly felt irritated with himself for sounding like a kicked puppy, but all train of thought disappeared when Jongin’s lips curved into the most gorgeous smile Kyungsoo had ever seen.

“I want to check out a book with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been meaning to upload this for like a month but I kept forgetting, so here you finally are! I really don't know why whenever I try to write fluff it just comes out even more angsty. I have a serious problem.


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